How do we get past the superficial?

So the solution to my situation with my group is to allow a little more authenticity to infect my group. How does that work? Vulnerability is a dynamic that must be nurtured among friends and within groups. If one friend makes themself vulnerable, the response of the people in the room (taking their cues from the leaders and influencers) will shape the way others respond in vulnerability. If genuine empathy is shown in that moment, others will follow (eventually) in sharing from weakness. If grace is shown, confession will follow. A good friend of mine has spoken prophetically that “confession happens in the context of grace.” This is true of our relationship with God as well as our relationships with others.

So, authenticity within a group becomes a process. As each friend expresses their concern, grace and empathy can be shown. (I do not divorce grace from accountability—just wait). As the group proves itself to be a place of grace and empathy, the group proves itself to be a place that merits greater transparency. Then more transparency comes out into the group, once again testing its level of grace and empathy. Once it proves that test, it is deemed, by its members, to be a place that can handle their stuff.

We as leaders need to nurture the environment that makes it a place of grace and empathy. People are lonelier than ever and they are isolated from genuine friendships more than ever—and yet are often more sensitive than ever. We need to be trained in how to be friends. We need to be trained to love one another in a way that shows honor, respect and yet can also express the truth in love.

This can be easier said than done. What ideas do you have? Try this one on. Pray that God will show you (and your group or set of friends) an opportunity to express grace to someone (give them something that they cannot produce for themselves). Cut their grass, help them paint, babysit their kids, give them a gift card, write them a note, etc. When you see it, seize it and draw in everyone you can to participate. Thereby demonstrating to the recipient, and all who participate, that this is a place of grace. It will demonstrate that God is with you. Who doesn’t want to be a part of that?

“You know what has happened…how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good….”

Acts 10:38-39

We all have needs, except me

So Tony called and said, “I noticed your grass was long and it sounded like you have been too busy to get to it. I love cutting grass and I am off Tuesday. How about I come over and cut it for you.”

Most people would be grateful. I was to a point. I was certainly impressed by his initiative. But I was also defensive (inside). I can do this myself. I don’t need you is what I thought.

To give a little background, Tony is in my small group and the night before we were looking at Acts 2. In Acts 2, we saw that because of the radical work of the Spirit and the God-infused love they had for one another, nobody had a need that wasn’t met. We talked as a group about the kinds of needs we had. Because we all had young kids, most of us had household projects that just couldn’t get done because of the physical demands of having young children.

Tony was being the model small group member. He was not just listening to the word, but he was doing what it said. And I didn’t like it. I don’t want to have need. Isn’t that the whole vision of living in Suburbia? To build a life where I can live in isolation allowing people in where I want and keeping them at a distance here I feel safe, secure and in control.

But I am not. If you want evidence, come look at the 3000 dandelions in my front yard that declare my lack of control to everyone who drives by.

So, thanks Tony for your help. In more ways than you know.

The Assumptions and Presumptions of Outreach

I love it—It is simple, clear and it gives me a vision about what my life, my group and my church should look like.

“Love God, love each other and love the world Jesus sends us to serve”

Though this is my church's vision statement, this isn’t a new vision for God’s people. It is the vision that Moses laid out back in Deuteronomy. The Jews understood themselves to be the light of the world (Isaiah 49:7). In Paul’s day however, the vision for outreach became a false prop that enabled them to see themselves favorably without dealing with their own inherent flaws.

"if you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark,… You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.

Romans 2:18-19, 23-24

The Jews were proud in their national identity to be a light to the world, yet they weren’t living out the vision on the inside, so instead of being a light to the Gentiles, causing them to bless the name of Yahweh, they only drew curses to Yahweh from the mouths of the Gentiles.

Bono sung once, “that we glorify the past when the future dries up.” Similarly, when living out the "love for one another" becomes hard, churches can look outward to missions and projects outside of their own sphere, not to be a light, but to feel good about themselves. They don’t minister out of an overflow of the richness of their Biblical community. They reach out as a substitute and a false prop to keep them from doing the hard work within their own lives and their own community. It feels good for a while, but eventually what is in the well comes up in the bucket.

I used to think this way about small groups. I used to disdain groups that helped one another with their own projects. I thought to myself—they should look outward and help those outside the faith—and I was right. But, It would be vain and short-lived for them to only think about ministering outside if they are not committed to meeting the needs of each other. We cannot forget Jesus command, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34)

To pursue the great commission without honoring and obeying the Great Commandment is hypocritical, vain and will end up causing us to not fulfill either.

How do we do both?

Is this true?

We have failed our strongest believers. Across the nation, churches are participating in a carefully researched study called Reveal. It details how the church is at its strongest and most influential when it is involved with people who are exploring who God is and who are just getting started in their faith. Yet, as people grow in their faith, the church shrinks in it is influence and impact in the life of a follower of Christ. Does that mean we have failed? I say, “yes” and “no.”

I say yes, because the cry of people who have faithfully walked with Christ and are living it out every day (this is different from people who have been a part of the church for a long time and have made very little spiritual progress), want more from their church. They want more food, more challenge, more opportunities, etc. And the church as it has focused on those younger or stalled in the faith have quite often presumed upon the maturity and commitment of their best people. This needs to change or the best people in our church will grow hardened or take their investments elsewhere. They may leave altogether. Or, they will probably stay in the pew but in their maturity and influence will model a passive version of mature spirituality that is dangerous in the life of a church.

I say “no” because of the principle of parenting. Paul uses this metaphor and it is helpful for us to understand the relationship between a church and a person in the church. The leadership in a church is often paralleled to parenting. Those who are new to the faith require a lot of attention--like infants and children. As believers grow their relationship to the church needs to parallel that of an individual within a family. Just as children and adolescents grow in their responsibility to share in the tasks of the home, so do young believers in the task of the church. Maturity in both should be marked by a growing independence (in personal management) and interdependence (or partnership in the family business). Just as a young adult needs to discipline him or herself to personally manage his responsibilities in partnership with his parents, so does a mature believer need to take personal responsibility to be a “self-feeder” and rely less and less on others for spiritual growth.

Check out more about the REVEAL Study at http://www.revealnow.com/readBlog.asp?pageid=13

Devotion

Like I said in my last entry, life scatters our thoughts. The antidote to being scattered is devotion. Devotion is good news (translated into Bible words=gospel) for those pulled in many directions. To those gripped by their offense before God as recorded in Acts 2, the good news was for them to repent of their sins and acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Christ. Sounds good. What did that look like? It looked like devotion.

Luke gives a paradigmatic look at what this repentance looks like in Acts 2:42-47. The summary I would give is devotion. They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Devotion was and still is good news.

I wish I had seven cents for every time I heard someone say, “I need to slow down.” The busyness of life is a direct assault on devotion. I am growing in my conviction that a community is most powerful when it nurtures devotion. For the PTA, it nurtures devotion to effectiveness of public schools. For a church and a small group, it must nurture devotion to the things that nurture devotion to Christ.

But shouldn’t we just nurture devotion to Christ?

Why I am doing this

I am writing this because I have to. I think I will like it, but life scatters a person so much that after a while we can lose our ability to think deeply on things. I don’t suppose to put out deep thoughts, but I do know I must think and deeper than I do now. In particular, I need to think about how people follow Christ in Community. I am not the first thinker on this topic, so maybe I should describe this as “expressed listening.” I will be expressing what others, and most important, what God has to say about following Christ in community.

I cannot do this expressive listening by myself—for then I will be violating my intention of thinking about following Christ in community. I hope these thoughts become a conversation. Please add, subtract and edit and make this thinking an actual practice of following Christ in community.