How do we get past the superficial?

So the solution to my situation with my group is to allow a little more authenticity to infect my group. How does that work? Vulnerability is a dynamic that must be nurtured among friends and within groups. If one friend makes themself vulnerable, the response of the people in the room (taking their cues from the leaders and influencers) will shape the way others respond in vulnerability. If genuine empathy is shown in that moment, others will follow (eventually) in sharing from weakness. If grace is shown, confession will follow. A good friend of mine has spoken prophetically that “confession happens in the context of grace.” This is true of our relationship with God as well as our relationships with others.

So, authenticity within a group becomes a process. As each friend expresses their concern, grace and empathy can be shown. (I do not divorce grace from accountability—just wait). As the group proves itself to be a place of grace and empathy, the group proves itself to be a place that merits greater transparency. Then more transparency comes out into the group, once again testing its level of grace and empathy. Once it proves that test, it is deemed, by its members, to be a place that can handle their stuff.

We as leaders need to nurture the environment that makes it a place of grace and empathy. People are lonelier than ever and they are isolated from genuine friendships more than ever—and yet are often more sensitive than ever. We need to be trained in how to be friends. We need to be trained to love one another in a way that shows honor, respect and yet can also express the truth in love.

This can be easier said than done. What ideas do you have? Try this one on. Pray that God will show you (and your group or set of friends) an opportunity to express grace to someone (give them something that they cannot produce for themselves). Cut their grass, help them paint, babysit their kids, give them a gift card, write them a note, etc. When you see it, seize it and draw in everyone you can to participate. Thereby demonstrating to the recipient, and all who participate, that this is a place of grace. It will demonstrate that God is with you. Who doesn’t want to be a part of that?

“You know what has happened…how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good….”

Acts 10:38-39